I have a Dream...

03-25-12

I have a dream…that one day I will be a woman to be looked up to, a woman young girls can aspire to be like. Not because I am beautiful and successful, but because I am those because of a higher purpose. The idea of being an actress of good moral character came to me as a high school senior, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life…

Imitation and imagination and emotion. Those were the things that drove me from the time I was a little girl. I quoted Disney movies from the beginning to the end. I played in endless reaches of fancy in the magical country which doubled as the family farm. Emotion has always ruled. Imagination doesn’t work without it!

“Mawwage. Mawwage is wha bwings us togebbah today…” I stood in front of 200 or so guests at my sister Tanya’s wedding, using the gift of imitation that seemed so natural for me.

Now as I look at grad school’s I am scared, but I think about this aspiration…I remember that it’s not about my success but about the purpose that God has for me to fulfill. If I have to face rejection, criticism, and ridicule, I can do that. “For when I am weak, I am strong.” And this is the dream.

I will pursue this field, though it terrifies me. I do it not to glorify me, but to show young girls there is more than beauty and fame. There is true fulfillment if the dream is built on the right foundation. Not personal glory, but a higher calling, a deeper purpose.

This is what will keep me going, those nights I want to cry myself to sleep because of rejection. This is what will keep me going when the money runs low and I am scrambling for that next audition. And this is what will keep me going when I don’t know where to turn after a mucked-up performance. It will be my hope…because it is a dream worth pursuing.