Double chocolate, blueberry and a sticky bun or "The weather outside..."

The Weather Outside

“The weather outside is frightful” reflecting the mood I’ve fallen into. Cold, blustery, branches tossed to and fro by the chilled wind. Grey. Normally my personality is bubbly and colorful, but today it is boring and tired. I walk out the door of my house, pushing against the wind to get out, putting all my weight on the door to close it again. The large flakes of snow pelt me in the face, stinging my cheeks and eyes, then melting only to be replaced by the another barrage.

While the wind is chilly, it is not what is making me cold. Inside me a blizzard is raging far more fiercely than the one outside. I am cold because of the fear and worry that haunts my steps. I wonder if I made another stupid, impetuous decision. It’s just like me to do that…it’s just like me to let that consume my thoughts…it’s just like me to feel like I messed up everything.

Whether I have or not, is yet to be discovered. I sit in classes, trying to keep the blizzard from sending me off the road and into a ditch I won’t be able to teach from, much less function, stuck in that many feet of freezing doubt. I move ahead slowly, trying to keep my mind on teaching so as not to slide off the road and I make it through, though I wouldn’t have, had it not been for the few small breaks in the clouds now and then.

Double chocolate, blueberry and a sticky bun

I don’t think we realize sometimes how much a smile or a small gesture can help someone get through an otherwise dismal, hopeless day. One of these moments occurred this evening on my night out. Having had a not so great week, I decided it was a little bit of a dress up day. A summer dress, with a sweater, leggings and snow boots, a little “branch” of fake flowers pinned in my hair completed the outfit. Sometimes you have to dress as you wish you felt instead of how you actually do.

My sister and I, hungry for muffins and having a coupon to use up, walked into Perkins. We were seated, ordered hot chocolate and used the “Buy 3 baked goods, get 3 free” coupon. Two double chocolate muffins, three blueberry muffins, and a sticky bun. Our waiter, a college aged boy from the look of him, asked if we wanted any warmed up for here. The caramel and pecans had been enticing me since I looked through the glass case up front, so I asked for the sticky bun; Jessica asked for a blueberry (her usual when we go out).

After discussing it for a little while, I realized my mistake. I wanted a chocolate muffin, but Jessica didn’t. I had no desire to eat two, but had been hoping to eat one of the blueberries…HMMM…

I worked up my courage and when our friend the waiter came by, asked if it was possible to trade one of the chocolate muffins in the unopened box he’d brought us for a blueberry. He said, “Sure,” left the box, walked to the counter, pulled out a paper sack and stuck a blueberry muffin inside. All this while I am thinking…um, ok, how is he going to get the chocolate one back? And there in lay my surprise.

“Here you are ladies,” he said, kindly, preparing to turn around to his next task. I asked him about the chocolate and he said, “Don’t worry about it.” Jessica and I both looked at each other like, wait! He can’t do that! What if he gets in trouble?

“Are you sure?” He smiled and said, “Positive.”

Jessica and I joked as we walked out that it must have been because I looked so cute today. Who knew, that a muffin and a friendly smile would clear up the blizzard for a while and make me feel like I could make it through another day.